Look what you've done

I went in to Barnes and Nobles this afternoon with every intention of spending my $25 gift card on this:



That's right. A stripper's memoir.

It's written by the same woman who wrote Juno's screenplay, thus escalating my desire to read it.

I mean, as if I even needed another reason to read the narrative of a former stripper.

I was there, perusing the shelves of the best seller's list (it HAD to be one, right?!) and searching for my desired paperback to no avail when a sudden flash of neon green caught my eye.

The flash was followed by a giggle and then a series of high-pitched squeals and the sound of two pattering feet.

Like a smarmy sailor being lured into capsizing waters by the sweet sounds of a siren, I was taken.

Befuddled, I entered the children's section of the book store and promptly blacked out.

It was only when I was turning the ignition to the car that I re-entered reality and with growing trepidation slowly opened the plastic Barnes and Noble's bag to peer in at it's contents.

Huh?

Wait......what?

What happened to THIS?!




I found that instead of my intended purchase I had blindly purchased THESE:





Well, Braeden I hope you're happy. Your telepathic means of manipulation have succeeded again.

I was duped.