Things that need to be flogged

1. Speedracer and the amazing technicolor visuals. It's like dropping acid in Honey Pie Pony Land and I can't take the neon-induced hangovers much longer.

2. My African Lit teacher. Because my love for slave narratives does nothing if entice me to read 100 pages of turn of the century literature for hours every night.

3. Indecisive shoppers. Yes, you buddy.

4. All of my co-workers. My brain does not operate in a functional way before 10 am (and I don't give a rats ass anyway).

5. Rhinovirus and the dirty daycare grubbing children who carry it

6. Dodger, for inhaling a piece of bark the size of my fist and lodging it in his throat so far that I was elbow deep in his frothy maw trying to dislodge it.

7. Poorly constructed white patent leather dress shoes and chunky size 9 toddler feet

8. Writers block and dirty deadlines

9. Thongs that shrink in the wash or asses that grow larger as I sleep

10. William Golding, author of Lord of the Flies and the owner of perhaps the most annoying voice I have ever heard projected on a book tape. Ever.