Sixty seconds till coffee, I cursed his nightmare and the sleep-hating alligator who lurked there. I was quick to stick the pointed finger of blame on Indiana Jones and his dangerous follies, (surely one of those movie's featured a man-eating alligator) but then it hit me.
His nightmare had less to do with Harrison Ford and everything to blame on this past weekends activities.
My cousin Ean turned four recently and to celebrate we went to Dinosaur World.
Living in the land of amusement and perpetual tourism, it was quite a shocker to find a park that we hadn't been to before. But it was Dinosaur World! And for those of you who live close by and read this blog, I'm sure you're smiling. Who could forgot the giant neon-orange Tyrannosaurs Rex who lives beside I-4 year round? Who welcomes weary motorists back to town after their Disney travels with that meager smile that seems to say, "Dude, if you had just come here, you'd be home already!"
In my entire 24 years of life in Florida, I had never visited Dinosaur World.
I came to find out that Dinosaur World is actually, you know, pretty fun.
If you have kids. Of course there's not much you can do with it childless (unless dinosaurs are your thing, Ross Geller.)
Here's the scoop. Dinosaur World is basically a very shaded park with sidewalks that run throughout it. There are picnic tables and a few shelters you can even reserve. There's a kick ass playground and the obligatory obnoxious couple who wander around the park hand and hand. Soda machines and restrooms line the walk and you can almost loose yourself and forget that you're only 20 feet from a large frequently traveled interstate. Birds sing overhead and kamikaze squirrels dart under your sneakered feet while you stroll down the gravel path and OH MY GOD IT'S A FUCKING DINOSAUR, RUN!
Just kidding. The dinosaurs are all caged and well feed. They didn't bother a soul.
Brae had a great time pointing out the dinosaurs and laughing as I struggled to read their ridiculous names off the plates in front of them. He was hanging with two of his best buddies, Ean and Ryan, and the three of them ran loops around the adults who where desperately trying to contain them, scouring the park for the treacherous T-Rex. The birthday party package included a fossil dig where the children each sifted sand in an attempt to locate prehistoric bones and teeth. This was a big hit with the kids as it combined their love of getting filthy with the pride of discovering something they did not believe was planted there 30 minutes earlier by a half-baked park employee.
There was even more sand in The Boneyard, an enclosed sandbox that contained the remains of a triceratops just waiting to be discovered. The kids had some of the best of times in here as I cringed with every ounce of sand flung into the air. If the ball pits at McDonald's are bad, I can't bear the thought of what treasures were hiding just beneath the surface of that lovely dune.
While making our second round through the park we ran into my ex-husband, which was quite the surprise. His reaction to seeing us was a little less than pleasant, but I should really just be grateful he's found some work again.
I mean, it's not like employers are just knocking down his door with a face like that. Sharp teeth. Wow.
A few minutes later I ran into some of his friends. Two years later and they're still making my stomach turn, wouldn't you know.
We wandered through the park for hours, pausing to eat lunch and feed the koi fish, sing Happy Birthday and open presents. I took an insane amount of pictures that forced a half-plastic smile on my son's face and a shoulder that suddenly became glued to his ear.
The birthday party was a big hit and I definitely recommend that if you live in the area and have kids (or Ross Geller) you go check it out.
You never know, you may even have a chance to spot the elusive Nonapacrankipuss.
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