That Damn Dog

Steps to getting a divorce
and accompanying emotions that lead to rash decisions
by Casey

1. File for a divorce

2. Look around and realize that while you are in the process of "dissolving" your twisted relationship bound in the tightest marital contract ever, all of your friends are happily getting engaged, emitting pregnancy pheromones and planning their future in a bubble of matriarchal bliss.

3. Decide the best course of action is to reward yourself and your son for having to go through this emotional turmoil with A NEW CAR! Oh wait, too expensive? A NEW PURSE! No? Doesn't benefit the kid, huh? Um, a new wardrobe for both of us? No, wait, I know. Lets reward ourselves with something that takes pinkie-sized shits all over our living room! I LOVE cleaning poop! Obviously then, this is an EXCELLENT IDEA!

See, the key to assuaging guilty and frustrated emotions over your impending divorce is to labor over a pint-sized shit factory and add yet another column to the ever expanding responsibility chart. I'm brilliant!



Oh, but he's cute. Well, erase what I just said then.