After waiting for an hour to be seated, we were lead to the back of the restaurant where the tables were crammed up against one another in awkward arraignment. A party of at least twenty people sat at the table to our right and another large party occupied the table directly behind me. I scooted out the seat closest to the window, paying particular attention to my ass, careful not to accidentally graze the man who was seated with his back to me. I took Brae's arm and shuffled him into position. As I was preparing to hoist him up into the window chair, he grabbed my arm and spun around, facing the window.
He bent over.
"Brae?" I asked, searching the ground for what had captured his attention.
He didn't respond, yet remained bent at the waist staring intently at the floor.
"What are you doing?!" I glanced up at my mother who was already seated. She shrugged up at me.
"C'mon Brae", I said tugging on his arm. "Sit down now."
"Wait!" He said, pulling his arm back. He shuffled his feet back towards me, his rear now pressed up against my pants leg.
And ripped one.
Immediately he started cackling.
"HahahahahahahahahaOhmammaIGOTYOU. I pooted on you! On your leg! I pooted on your leg!"
Fantastic.
And I had thought I was only there for the four-cheese ravioli.
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