Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta

Oh, so this is the luxury afforded by middle management?

Meetings. Oooh the meetings, they don't stop. Throngs of professionals sitting around a conference table mulling over successful procedures and congratulating each other on the new implementation of grand ideas. It's one big corporate circle jerk up in here. And there I sit, fish out of water, fascinated with the piece of lint that has slipped off our vice presidents power suit and is now careening around the room. As you can see, there is much I have to offer.

Questions. Ha! What? Oh, you want me to answer that for you? Oh well, see...erm, I kind of have NO FUCKING CLUE what I am doing. Kindly step aside, I have a meeting to attend.

Salary. Ahhhh! Two minutes 'till lunch is over.....wait. wait for it........ NO MORE TIME CLOCK. Resume mindless meandering on the internets on company time.

Subordinates. Repeat after me, ' I am delegating this task to you. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any questions!' Resume mindless meandering on the internets on company time.

Meetings. Damn it! Again?!

Approvals. 'ooh, your daughters birthday is the day after Christmas? And you want the day off? I feel for you, really I do, only I HAVE to have that day off as well because.....well, it's the day after Christmas and what if I need to dispose of all that wrapping paper? I mean, WHO IS GOING TO TRANSPORT THE BOXES TO THE CURB?! It's a responsibility I just have to take on. I'm sure you're daughter will understand. No, no. Don't cry, I'll be able to handle the boxes. I really appreciate your concern though. Oh, you're weeping. You're so sweet. Here, I'm delegating this to you.'

Calenders. I'm watching you. Yes, YOU. I know your every move.

They love me around here, they really love me.

And its good to be loved.